Sunday, December 16, 2007

A Car By Any Other Name...

Friday started out as any other wintry work day for Kevin and me. Bundle up, scrape the cars, make the slushy commute into work, rustle up a parking spot, settle into my desk for some emails and toast. It wasn't long before things got interesting.

"Good morning, this is Andrea Lynn"

"Hi, it's me."

"Oh hey, you forgot your lunch this morning! I hope you can find something else besides The Smasher's* sandwiches."

"I don't think that'll be a problem. I'm at home."

"What? Why?"

About half way into his drive to work, Kevin started feeling queasy. (This isn't terribly unusual since he has a sensitive stomach and takes a vitamin the morning.) Then he got a funny taste in his mouth. And before he knew it, there was vomit everywhere. The dash, the steering wheel, the vents, even the windshield, causing him to have to lean over to see out of the passenger's side. Somehow he had the gumption to get Scooter**, our blue Ford Escape, into a parking lot to turn around and make the stinky drive home.

We talked numerous times throughout the day. How do I clean my clothes? What should we do about the car? Do you have a fever? But the biggest question lurking in our minds, even now, is what could have caused this?

Here are three probables:

1. One of Kevin's coworkers was sick last Tuesday and missed an important meeting with a "stomach bug."

2. Kevin took his vitamin too long after he ate, and the queasy feeling was just too much.

3. Kevin, in a effort to make sure I could use my windshield wiper fluid for the slushy commute, used his tongue to melt the ice that was covering the wiper fluid valve on the hood.

It remains a mystery what really caused this impromptu Cookie Tossing, but #3 is pretty suspicious. However, I'm glad to say there was no subsequent vomiting and he's felt like a champ ever since.

Scooter is another story. In the Bible, certain characters undergo name changes after significant events. Jacob becomes Esau after wrestling with an angel. Simon becomes Peter when Christ makes him the leader of his disciples. Saul becomes Paul as he embarks on his life as an apostle. And after Friday, Scooter becomes the Vomit Comet for enduring such a fate.

*The Sandwich Smasher is an employee in the cafeteria at the lab where Kevin works. For some reason, this person flattens sub sandwiches as she assembles them and cuts them in half. She is now infamous among Kevin's coworkers.

**I always name my cars and Kevin has followed suit.


Anonymous said...

I would never buy a sandwich made in the cafeteria of a facility that houses nuclear material. That could cause larger problems than a car-vomit episode. Although, now that I think of it, the problems stemming from eating nuclear food could be more interesting. Kevin could grow two heads on the way to work. Imagine *that* phone call.

My Semblance of Sanity said...

That's all I have to say!
Hope he's feeling better!