The Best-Laid Plans...

I have been officially unemployed for 49 days now. For the most part, I really love being a homemaker! I'm rather surprised by this as I spent much of the past three years with a real fear of what life would be like without a job-a life sans extra money and a solid 9 hours of structured activity. Looking back, I can see how much self-worth I attached to my school work and then my job. Career was all important and the primary measure of whether I was achieving the purpose for which I was created in the first place.

In the first two years of our marriage, Kevin and I spent a lot of time intensely discussing my desire to go to grad school and cultivate a "successful" career. All of the discussions ended with me coming to the realization that it is not time for grad school and an all out career blitz for many reasons-financial and simply not knowing what I am truly cut out to do in the workplace.

I love to have a plan and I love to be in control. I had my whole career path--from honors high school classes to accomplished physician--planned out by the age of 12. Alas, it was a mere semester into my undergraduate education that I realized I am not cut out to be a physician. My primary reason: I did not want to put myself in a position where I must be divided between career and family. There are many women who do this and do it very well, but I just knew the time commitment and stress of pursuing an MD was not in the cards. I have never regretted the decision. Since that realization, I have made logical plan after logical plan in order to launch a respectable, flexible career. I started to pursue a Masters in Social Work. When it became clear that was not the appropriate path, I began to pursue a special education degree. When Kevin proposed and we found out we would be moving to New York, I put the higher ed plans on hold again, only to find myself feeling disconnected and lost in regards to God's will for my work life.

The fog finally started to lift a bit when we found out about The Babe in January. I had officially become a mother and the journey would only become more intense and demanding as time went on. Though I liked my job in New York, I knew it was not enough to keep me from this child. To be a wife and mother, without a flashy career, is the path that I am trodding. It is a peaceful path. A path I am thankful for because I know that there are many women who would love to stay home with their children but cannot. The moments with young children are so fleeting and precious.

All of my failed plans have worked together to show me that God is in control. Though I may try to go my own way, his Spirit tugs at my heart when its at the brink, and I have had the grace, thus far, to turn back before too much time and money are lost pursuing things that will not bring ultimate satisfaction or happiness. Now, I pray for the grace and discipline to take this quiet time before the baby is born to learn how to listen more closely to the still small voice of Christ that illuminates each day, one moment at a time. In this, I am confident that there will be lasting peace and true purpose.

Transitioning

We're in the house and on the way to a new normal...I guess. Moving has been a big transition, but a good one. We're still trying to figure out how we'll fit in the lives of family and old friends.

Who will we hang out with on a regular basis? Do we really need a new dishwasher? How often will we see parents and siblings without driving each other up the wall? How will we serve in our parish and community? Do we get the full out cable or the HD rabbit ears? All questions to be answered in the months to follow. The Babe will be out in the world in a good 10 weeks as well, which will only mean MORE transition and more questions to be answered. Or maybe they'll just continue to be unknowns for a while, and we'll wait for the path to be revealed to us.

Last week, a close friend of ours was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer. It's in the early stages and there is much hope that he will live for years to come. The things of life that really matter rise to the surface when you encounter mortality and its seemingly grim realities. Suddenly, which TV channels to pay for or not pay for seems rather ridiculous.

Psalm 119:109-112
My life is always at risk, but I do not forget your teaching.
The wicked have set snares for me, but from your precepts I do not stray.
Your decrees are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart.
My heart is set on fulfilling your laws; they are my reward forever.

Elbow Grease

Pardon my spotty, infrequent posting. I'm spending most of my days unpacking and organizing so that the kitchen (and other rooms) can go from this:



To this:





Note: Neither of these are actually my kitchen, but you get the idea...

When Little Things Become Uber-Things

One thing I've noticed with pregnancy is the tendency to give uber-attention to things that do not really warrant uber-attention. Discussions about which infant carseat to register for, a change in the time we go to the beach, and Pizza Hut losing my pineapple pizza order have become blow-ups rivaling that of Mt. St. Helens.

As Kevin and I prepare to close on our home in Michigan, we have been discussing many potential improvements. I have become obsesssed new carpet--through the whole house. The current carpet is a neutral color and of high quality, but it is just not the color I prefer. For the last few weeks, I have not been able to stomach living in a house with this carpet. So the quest for new carpet began.

When I had a carpet installer come to the house yesterday to give me an estimate, he mentioned that the current carpet is a thick-pile wool, with 1/2 inch pad. It is definitely nicer than the lower-end nylon carpet I would use to replace it.

A short litany of questions my sister, a penny pincher at heart, used to recite while shopping at the mall when we were kids started to stream through my consciousness:

Do you need it?
Do you want it?
Is it really worth the price?

The catch with my sister's buyer's quiz is if you answer the majority of the questions with "no," then you shouldn't make the purchase. Alas, this was definitely a "majority no" situation. After tearily confirming the results of Beth's Buyer's Quiz with Kevin, my pregnant brain was finally able to let go of the new carpet in favor of a deep cleaning of the current carpet as well as other necessary improvements. Miracles do happen.

Venting

[WARNING: May contain some rant-like language.]

I must say that the Extended Stay is less than satisfactory these days. We have some "neighbors" that moved in a few days ago. I cannot figure out if they are below us or next to us, but regardless of their location, they are LOUD. At 3:30am. During my frequent trips to the bathroom, I hear loud BANGS. Is someone taking a flying leap off the bed? Attempting to lower the footrest on the ghetto recliner (a frightening experience)? Slamming the bathroom door? Slipping in the tub? These are the things I ponder as I lay awake in bed, listening to the banging and our reactionary dog's barks and growls. If I knew who this person was, I'd thank them for allowing me to share in the insomnia.

In all fairness, one perk of the Extended Stay is "membership" at a fitness club down the street. Kevin and I belonged to the Y back in New York, and it's nice to have a place to go and work out when it's blistering hot or raining. Yesterday was my second trip to the gym and I rode the stationary bike and took advantage of the lap pool. I used to lifeguard at a local recreation center when we lived in Michigan previously, and many of my coworkers would mention that if people wanted the muscle-bound, spandex clad atmosphere, they would get a membership at this particular gym, even though it was at least twice the price of the recreation center. Now that I've been to this place, I don't think it's any nicer. Really. The cardio room and weight rooms are loaded tightly with machines; bad Justin Timberlake and Beyonce music is piped through the whole place, and there's minimal space set aside for stretching. I'm also convinced that the faux-hawked, Under Armour wearing personal trainers outnumber the patrons actually working out. In conclusion, I would never spend the money on this place. But if it's free, it's for me!

Moving Forward

We found a house! Here's a picture from the listing.



We are set to close on the house in New York this Thursday. (Fortunately, we are able to have the deed etc. overnighted to us to sign so we don't have to be at the closing.) The closing date for the new house is set for July 25th, though we'd like to close earlier if possible. We are so blessed to have found a house that fits our needs so quickly. The search was short, but emotional. (I'm sure being pregnant didn't help in that regard!)

There are many good deals on houses right now, but buyers in the starter home price range need to act FAST on desirable properties. We put our full price offer in on Monday night and the next day, another agent called with a full price, cash offer from his client. The sellers had already accepted our offer, so the sellers' agent said the property was sold. Good thing we acted quickly! God has totally provided for our needs every step of the way. He is so faithful.

We've still got a few more weeks in the Extended Stay, but we'll manage. My biggest beef with the place is the stinky stairwell. There are a series of garbage cans, and the one on the ground floor has a cigarrette disposal tray. The entry way smells perpetually of stale cigarrettes and garbage. Oy!

Kevin says that if he were a bachelor, he'd stay here indefinitely. The affordable price with all utilities plus housekeeping is too good to be true. I beg to differ, but I'll let him enjoy this while it lasts.

Coming Up for Air

UPDATE ON THE JOURNEY FROM NY TO MI:

I think this will be my favorite pregnancy picture of all time. This is me in our NY house with two of Kevin's coworkers on move-out day. Keep in mind that only two out of the three people in the picture are pregnant.

"One of these things is not like the others..."



I made it into town last Wednesday evening after a none-too-eventful two-day drive. I think the slide show below shows the aesthetic highlight of the trip from NY to MI. This hotel is next door to the one I stayed at near the Buffalo airport. Wow.



Crossing the border into the Great Lakes State.



We are now living (temporarily!!) in an Extended Stay Hotel. Not fab, but definitely adequate and maintenance free. Buck is obviously making himself at home.



The house hunt is now in full swing. Update coming soon!

Deja Vu

For a good portion of our engagment, Kevin was in New York, while I was still in Michigan. We are apart again, but positions are reversed. At least it's only for a few days!

Kevin made it safely to Michigan with all of our stuff in tow. We had a lot of help loading and unloading the truck, thanks to generous friends! One leg of the journey is behind us.

I leave New York on Tuesday with the dog. It should be an adventure--a pregnant lady and a mutt in an SUV full of stuff. Please pray for traveling mercies!

Head 'Em Up, Move 'Em Out

Today is Moving Day.

Kevin should be getting the truck this very moment and then the loading of all our possessions will begin. I really really hope that we won't have to do this again any time soon.

All of the "lasts" have been hitting me hard this week:

• the last time I'll walk the dog on the golf course in the evening
• the last time we'll see friends at our parish
• the last time Kevin can safely drive past the shack of armed guards into work
• the last time we'll sleep in our bed in our first home
• the last time I'll take a shower in the bathroom we designed and remodeled (I love that bathroom!)

Sigh.

It is a bittersweet day. But I take comfort in this:

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Hitch in the Giddy Up

The process of moving back to the Great Lakes State is in full swing. Kevin leaves one week from tomorrow, and we're in all-out packing, paper work completing, phone calling, arrangement making mode. Moving is a whole lot of work!

We are waiting to find a house til we roll into town, which means that we need some temporary digs. Our original plan was to live in a house that a friend was preparing to rent out to college students. Long story short, that fell through last Thursday night, and the past week has been a feverish search for a place to stay while we find another homestead. I checked Craigslist, Sublet.com, and other sites looking for an apartment or a house, and nothing has panned out...except a studio room at Extended Stay America. So, as of today, we'll be hotel-dwellers for at least 30 days. Grand.

I'm certainly not looking forward to living in a studio hotel room with a dog, but on the upside, weekly housekeeping, internet, cable, utilities, and a membership at the hotel's workout facility are all included. And, the extent of our stay is totally flexible, which is comforting considering that the time between starting to look for a home and actually closing on a home can be unpredictable.

This situation has brought the life of Christ to mind many times. Mary went into labor while they were on a journey to be counted by the government, and the only place they could find was a cave-dwelling for animals. Joseph had a dream that he needed to take his wife and Jesus to Egypt. They fled Judea right away; no doubt they didn't have the chance to research sublets and long-term-stay inns! And when a scribe expressed his undying devotion to Jesus, he answered:

"Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head." Matthew 8:20

Even as modern day disciples, we must be prepared to depend on our Heavenly Father just as Jesus did, at every moment of every day for ALL that we need.

Maybe Extended Stay American isn't so bad after all.

It's Been a While...Again

I haven't been much or blogging in the past week as life was more hectic. The house is still pending, and we had the structural inspection last week. A couple of issues came up which threw me for a bit of a loop (emotional "loops" have been more frequent in the past few months!). Apparently, our furnace is old and "near the end of its life." Our inspector told us this three years ago, and the furnace still kicking. The agent said not to be concerned. The other issue was the shifting/settling foundation under the addition in the back of the house. Kevin told me about this on Friday at around 5pm after I got home from work. That's not the most coherent or rational time of day for me, and I immediately started to worry...a lot. I began to imagine the worst; the foundation is cracked and sinking, and the buyers are going to pull out of the contract, running from our decrepit, old house screaming with arms flailing.

After a good night's sleep, I got some distance from the issue and was able to see things in a more rational light. We have an old home. Stuff happens in old homes. The house is not sinking or falling off its foundation. Truth be told, the buyers are just excited to get into the house and are not too focused on the furnace or the foundation (which does need some attention). As Kevin told me, it's time to trust and not to fret.

We were away for the weekend (more on that later), and when we returned, those sweet words, "Sale Pending", were still perched on top of the ReMax sign in our yard. The buyers are still with us, and we will continue our journey home.

"This One's Gravy!"

That's what our real estate agent said when we listed our house 10 days ago.

Kevin and I had our doubts, but per many prayers (and Kevin's birthday wish), our house is under contract for a full-price offer! It was on the market for a week with about 10 showings. Not too shabby! Now, we can begin moving forward with new digs in Michigan.

What blessing!

Thanks to all who prayed, including St. Joseph*.



*No, we did not bury a statue. Though, we have a great novena we're still praying.